living 
Today a friend told me, she saw someone committing suicide just before her eyes. I realized a little later, which lasting effect this has. I hope she will handle it quite well as she has handled bad things really good in the past.
I will never understand what some young person drives to choose that escape. I cannot understand that desperation. But of course, I cannot judge. I love my life. I hope for the sunshine after rain. I had some rain already - but I never drowned.